How many ads have you seen today telling you to buy something? We live in a culture of buying and owning which tells us that the ‘good’ life is one of having (more and more). However contrary to what modern marketing tells us, by valuing ‘things’ we are actually making ourselves less happy.

Most of us have experienced the thrill of finding a bargain or treated ourselves to something after we have had a hard day. It is ingrained in our culture that rewarding ourselves generally is done by purchasing something and there is a scientific explanation for this. When we buy it stimulates ‘feel good’ chemicals in the brain and after all don’t we deserve to feel good after working so hard?

The irony of ‘treating ourselves’ in this way is that in the long term we are sacrificing our happiness and research tells us that the more people value materialistic goals, the less happy and satisfied they are.

 Are you pursuing the right goals?

In order to be happier we need to pursue more intrinsic goals. Intrinsic goals are those that satisfy our needs as humans such as building positive relationships, living our values,, playing to our strengths or working to improve our self-acceptance. These goals help us do good and be good.  Whereas extrinsic goals are those things we are trained by marketing to think we need, like more money, a new car/house or that new handbag you’ve seen in a magazine. These goals help us have goods. These things, which will probably make you feel good initially (because of those ‘feel good’ chemicals), cannot and will not provide long-term happiness and satisfaction.

4 ways you can pursue the good life

1. Invest in time not money

Spend time with the people you love. Substitute buying something for them for doing something for or with them. This one seems like a no-brainer, but for some reason when we get busy we often sacrifice family time first. We know it makes us happier and is good for our well-being, so why should we see it as optional?

1. Share experiences rather than ‘things’

Experiencing something new makes us happier and increases our wellbeing, so rather than buying a gift for someone why not go see a show with them, do a cooking class or even go for a picnic?

1. Be mindful

Chasing the good life doesn’t mean never buying anything again! It’s more about changing the way we spend to be more mindful. When you want to buy something think through these questions: Do I really need this or do I want this?

1. Be in control of your time

If we truly want to live the good life we must shift how we prioritise. The things that we know make us happy like family time, hobbies, time with friends, exercise etc. should not be what we sacrifice in order to meet extrinsic goals like making more money. This one is trickier to achieve, however by acknowledging how valuable these things are to you and your well-being, you will probably think hard about any decision that will take them away.